Neville’s office isn’t in the castle. Well, there is technically a room assigned to him (third floor, fifth door on the right, mind the re-located portrait of Sir Cadogan). But if you needed help with your Herbology assignment or were sent to see the Head of Gryffindor House about that parakeet you snuck into the fifth floor girl’s toilets, you would never find him there.
Neville had a small cottage near the greenhouses. There had been some grumbling about its creation when Neville first started teaching, but it was hard to argue with the Minister’s favorite advisor who just happened to be a hero. So the cottage was built and young Mr. Longbottom and his new wife moved onto the Hogwarts grounds.
There was a steady stream of students coming in and out of the little house during class breaks. Some carried odd potted plants, some looks of guilt etched on their faces, and some simply dropped by to say hello. The windows had bright curtains and the chimney always cheerfully puffed smoke. It was hard not to feel welcomed by the cozy exterior.
Things were different after night fell. Students still weren’t allowed to wander the grounds at night, but everyone turned a blind eye to those who knocked on the cottage door under cover of darkness. These students carried no gifts and bore no cheery smiles. Their faces were tear-stained or bruised or fearful. They were hunched over, trying to make themselves as small as possible. They knocked on the door with shaking hands and trembling lips.
When they entered they would find a crackling fire, a squashy armchair, some of Hannah Longbottom’s famous ginger biscuits and a steaming cup of tea. And they would find Professor Longbottom, smiling kindly. He heard stories of homesickness, of bullies and taunts, of fears and failures. He dried tears and patted backs. And most importantly, he listened.
He might quietly find a bully and intervene. He might Apparate from the Three Broomsticks to the nearest Muggle town and place a call to a concerned parent. He might consult with Madam Pomfrey on the best way to help manage the anxieties of an overwhelmed fifth year. He might simply sit and give a firm and thoughtful piece of advice. But this is not why students came to Professor Longbottom’s house when life was bleak and Hogwarts was too much to bear.
They came because he had once, so many years ago, been like them. And because they, unlike him, would never have to be alone.
(written and submitted by ppyajunebug. This is another very sweet submission from this author. ppyajunebug’s wizarding world always feels like ultimately a good place, where wrongs are righted and people do kind things. It’s an inviting, pleasant look at canon; thank you, ppyajunebug!)
The Princess Bride.
“Life is pain. Anyone who says differently is selling something.”
I am seriously missing this show right now.
Leverage by Christopher “Kweli-Malik” Copeland
favourite looks: Los Angeles premiere of Thor: The Dark World (2013)
After a long-fought battle in Australia, a python bested a crocodile and swallowed the reptile whole over a span of several hours in Queensland, Australia.
The snake reportedly fought the croc for five hours in Lake Moondarra. Winning the fight, the python constricted its prey to death. The estimated 10-foot snake then dragged the 3-foot croc ashore and proceeded to swallow it whole in front of a group of onlookers.
National Geographic identified the snake as an olive python and the croc as a Johnson’s crocodile, both of which are native to Australia. After its hefty meal, the python should be full for at least a month.
Thank fuck I don’t live in Australia.
Harry Potter locations
It all started when a boat full of Muggleborns, charged guilty of “stealing magic” and on their way to Azkaban, seemingly vanished into the sea. The Ministry officials at first believed that it was simply an (un)fortunate accident, and no one was going to cry about a few mudbloods drowning.
The incident reapeated itself twice before they finally grew suspicious. A pair of Aurors, pretending to be prisoners as well, was placed on the next boat to find out where its cargo was vanishing off to.
They were found three days later, stumbling along the shore, confused and unable to recall what had happened. The same thing happened to a couple of Snatchers, who were on the trail of a group of fugitives and suddenly found themselves with a two day memory gap and their prey gone without a trace.
Head Auror Dawlish, fresh out of St. Mungos after that embarrassing encounter with the old lady and her terrifying vulture hat, was anxious to solve this curious case (mostly because his colleagues were still merciless with their teasing and he desperately wanted his dignity back). He sent out his men to investigate, but none of them came back with anything more than a disturbing lack of memory.
Soon there were rumours though, about a most peculiar group of people that was determined to set the convicted Mudbloods and Bloodtraitors and other criminals loose again, that hunted down Snatchers and took their prey. Snatched it back. Back Snatchers.
It was the most stupid name they had ever heard. None of them ever suggested giving their weird little gang a name, but if they had, it sure as hell would not have been Back Snatchers. It stuck to them anyway, and at some point they just rolled with it.
Essentially, they weren’t much different from the Snatchers anyway. They, too, tried to track down muggleborns and runaways, but instead of sending them to Azkaban, they send them into safety, helped them flee over borders or to safe houses hidden all over the country.
They would tail groups of Snatchers for days, following them quietly and then jumping between them and their victims (and of course always making sure none of them took off without an Obliviate sent their way).Soon enough, the Ministry found them to be most undesirable, though they could never quite figure out who exactly they were.
Sometimes people they met on the run or the ones they saved travelled with them. The half-giant was with them for a while, but he was too big and loud and not subtle enough, and some of the scared muggleborns they saved were nearly as terrified of him as they had been of the Dementors.
The twins didn’t stick around for long as well, soon joining their friend in broadcasting the word of the resistance, though they left them quite a lot of useful toys and gadgets.
The boy with the claw marks on his head stayed longer. He had been on the first boat they had taken (half-blood and a werewolf, how dared he), and they didn’t have to convince him of their cause. He had unfinished business with that Greyback guy, after all.
There was even a goblin amongst them, a polite fellow who didn’t talk much. But he was of great value whenever they got into a fight, as was the former Slytherin girl, who had won several dueling championships in her time at Hogwarts.
Then there was Justin of course, whose brilliant Memory Charms were the main reason they had gone undetected for so long, and a bit later Augusta joined them and amused them all with her story about the poor Auror who had been foolish enough to believe she’d be an easy target.
Yes, they were a curious constellation of people, misfits and half-bloods and muggleborns and whatnots, but they had a cause, and that cause united them.
(written and submitted by killingkari. This is so badass and yet so cheering! It tackles the darkest year in the canon without sentimentality but with a lot of heart, outlining in direct, unpretentious terms a similarly unpretentious, but extremely heroic band of people. I love this.
Happy 33rd Birthday, Josh Groban!
having friends that live in a different timezone was never a problem i expected to have
Imagine Brad Pitt helping serve the food at your fucking pizza party.
he went into dad mode passing out those plates.
I am glad to say I am not the only one who thought this while I was watching last night.
Ellen’s Oscars selfie just took Twitter down for some people, for real